by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Hintuition

What if what we want is not what we need and what we need is not what we want?

What if our happiness leads us in the right direction and not the career path we choose?

What if all we need is to smile, to give love to our surrounding and to ourselves? And that’s it.

What if everything we need will just come and what we really need will stay with us as soon as we let go?

“You are good at listening to yourself.” A friend of mine awarded me a couple of months earlier during a time, when I was not at all in tune with myself. Actually during these days I felt like I’m the worst at listening to my inner self.

I could literally see myself standing in my own way, darkening my own light. With extensive thinking I was blocking my energy channels. My intuition was not accessible. But in order to follow my path I need to follow my intuition.

I had to think about that. What is intuition? According to cambridge dictionary it is “the ability to understand or know something immediately based on our feelings rather than on facts.”

Let’s look at it from a neuroscientific perspective briefly: A situation/some sort of input stimulates our brain. This stimulus gives us access to a “library of information”. These information are stored in our system from past experiences or even transmitted from our forefathers through our DNA.

As soon as our brain accesses this library it sends us a hint. This makes us (re)act or not (re)act in a given situation. If we are hungry we eat. If we are late we hurry. And if we need to make a decision we think.

Thinking is good to a certain extend, but with a lot of thinking we easily cover up our intuition. This precious library imprinted into our genes becomes inaccessible.

With our mind we gather information about a situation whereas intuition just knows. While our mind is trying to figure out the perfect solution our intuition might already made the decision for us long beforehand. We just don’t take the time to listen.

With our busy mind we become victims of the circumstances – nothing else. If we let our thoughts control all the time we give away our true power.

We become victims of information by always trying to make the perfectly thought-through decision. What if our decision is just right there? Behind this curtain of thoughts?

Making decisions could be so easy. Arouses an idea a feeling of happiness/excitement/fulfillment? This warm feeling in the stomach that expands in the whole body? The feeling of “I just have to do it.” Then this is might be the way to go even if our mind wants to tell us something else. This is the ‘hint’.

But there they are: Thoughts and doubts tie up our intuition. And beneath this corset? There is the ‘hint’ unable to be transmitted to our consciousness.

All the thinking holds us back from experiencing. But this is how we learn – through experience. This is how we update our “intuition library”.

We can not “know” what we want, we can only feel it. We get to do what makes us happy from the core of our being, but we need to listen closely.

Am I the only one who understands this only now? I need to meditate on this. (Soon an article about meditation is overdue.)

 
by Uli on Micro Habit Challenge, Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Micro Habit Challenge 4.0 – Social Media Breakdown

“The one who knows something, but doesn’t act accordingly only knows it partially.” This is the rough translation of a quote by french philosopher J. M. Guay, which I found in “Geistestraining durch Achtsamkeit” by Nyānaponika, a Buddhist monk. [I haven’t found the correct english equivalent title yet.]

As I found out in the past changing my behaviour takes time. At the beginning of my ‘journey’ I tried to achieve all at once – I still do on many levels. Slowly I understand I have to take one step at a time in order to climb that mountain.

What I found out recently is that I still distract myself with so much stuff from achieving my daily goals (which adds up to my overall life goals). The thing I still abuse the most by far is social media.

I keep telling myself that facebook is important to keep up my social connections and instagram inspires me.

BUT – let’s face it – mostly it holds me back from living in the moment – the only thing that I really want to achieve in my life. Additonally to that I’m wasting my time instead of investing it into articles like this one. Plus – I become a victim of my device.

I get caught up in reaction to the notifications on my phone. And this is unacceptable.

It’s time for another micro habit challenge. Here we go Nyānaponika. I will get there eventually.

So – what am I gonna do?

Limit my time on social media (including whatsapp) on 30 minutes daily for the next two weeks – man, writing this down it sounds a lot. But probably I reduce the time I spend on my phone already around 200%. Yeees, I have to be clear with this – no matter how painful or emberassing.

I don’t want to push too hard and still want to take the time to answer messages.

What had changed already?

– Today is already day two. Yesterday was easy. Already the decision was liberating and I was in flightmode allday – actually I spend only a couple of minutes online – good start, haha.

– I already feel like having some control back. I want to use my phone and don’t let my phone use me. Technology has advantages and that’s why I want to keep using them.

– Limiting the amount of time helps me to prioritise length and content of my messages. Let’s see if the quality of my overall conversations increases by the end of the first week.

Why I’m doing this?

Interestingly my experience shows that writing this stuff down here on this blog helps me to manifest things.

About a year ago I pointed out “I suck at meditation”. And guess what – since I found the “valve” I get access to this gap between me and my thoughts once in a while – more and more often over the time. I don’t have a regular practice but I practice multiple times a week at various times.

This makes me more than gratful – thanks Nyānaponika – or better say Erich Fromm for introdrucing me to this teacher of mindfulness.

Cheers, I let you know how it went next week.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Overdoing Life

I admire people who target one goal at a time and just go for it. For me every day is a new beginning. I want everything at once everyday. I exhaust myself with constant input. My goals are changing constantly. My dreams are chasing each other like clouds in the sky.

Is this insanity? Or is this detachment? I’m not quite sure. For sure it doesn’t get me anywhere – where I’m wishing to be. And THIS is attachment. The idea of having an idea, where I want to be. Haha, take this life.

My perception of time is completely off. What is possible within a day, a year or a lifetime? I really don’t know. There are these moments that change everything. These moments are out of my control. But I can control which direction I’m heading.

Yeah, yeah – My energy resources are limited. I only have this one life. I need to stay grounded. I’m aware of all these things. I’m not stupid. But the concept of ‘making a living’ seems so foreign to me – so ‘made’ up.

I don’t know how all these people ‘do’ life? To me it just happens.

Am I ‘overdoing’ it or is everyone else?

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Learning To Fly

Sometimes I feel like a bird who has wings, but doesn’t know how to use them.

Maybe this is all about learning to fly?

Spreading the wings is might be the hardest part.

So, what can I do about it? I will just keep practicing.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Learning To See

“People look at these statues, take selfies but they don’t know what they are looking at.” Since over a week I’m in Florence for no real reason – well, even as a nomad I need to be somewhere at times.

People ask me: “What are you doing here?” Haha, I haven’t seen all the sights of Florence at all, but I had the most intense encounters with the city itself. It forces me to stop. It pulls and pushes me, but mostly it captivates me between its dramatic walls. Within its history it helps me to write mine.

The introductory expression of disgust by a guy that I met on the way made me think. To be fair – I don’t know what I’m looking at either, but I’m paying attention – to the details.

For sure you know this feeling: You move to a new city or a different part of town. On your way to the supermarket a beautiful flower catches your eye on the sidewalk. All of a sudden you notice the ragged garden behind the overgrown fence. How could you not notice this beautiful gem in the middle of your hood?

There is so much to see if we look around. And I’m not only talking about museums, sights or gardens.

A lot of times we are rushing through life not noticing what actually happens around or within us. C’est la vie. That’s life. Yes, but what if we miss important waypoints, because we don’t take the time to actually look around?

Maybe life is only half lived if we rush through it. If we with our western mind always try to calculate instead to observe. Instead of letting a situation speak to us we are making assumptions quickly. Instead of observing we are trying to solve a problem immediately.

Don’t get me wrong – of course we need to target our goals. Of course we need to tackle the challenges of a humans life. But honestly: When was the last time you really spend with just “being” and letting everything else be?

We need to take action, but when do we actually take the time to wait and see? To look and listen? Not only to the other person or to Michelangelos’ David statue but also to difficult situations, to our feelings or our emotional reactions in certain moments. They are there for a reason. Every challenge, every feeling is here for a reason and wants to tell us something.

A lot of times – maybe there is not even any action necessary. Probably this is how we ‘lose track’. By not taking the time to observe and let the insights come to us.

It is all already thought, but the learning process never ends and I’m endlessly grateful.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

The Universe Doesn’t Understand “No”

Imagine you grow a tomato plant on your windowsill. You plant the seed and a couple of days later a tiny seedling is making its way towards the sun. Would you think: “This is not a tomato plant.” ?

No, you would water and nurture it. At some point – sooner than later – this plant will carry fruits and provide you with vitamins and minerals.

I get nothing done by being busy telling myself “I’m so unproductive”. My perfectionism clearly is holding me back from growing on any level. I screw myself deeper into the spiral of negative thinking with every negative thought that I phrase.

Instead I need to focus on the progress I already made. Not even this – all I have to do is to set my intention right, the rest will follow. To rephrase this: “We learn despite of ourselves.”. This is something the wise Don Juan is pointing out in Castaneda’s learnings. (“The teachings of Don Juan”) And it is so true – to me still surprisingly true.

Right now I’m not able to make any decisions for the future. I beat myself up and up and up for being so confused and unable to set my target right. Instead I should be grateful for having many opportunities and directions to go – the decision will come by itself anyway as soon as I go along.

It is possible to project this belief on any given situation, any “subject of learning”. The limiting belief of “not having” something [love, money, health, success] is holding us back from receiving it.

This seems to be not my personal problem, but a problem of our western society. We don’t even see the wealth and the opportunities that we have. Instead we always need something more. “I have enough” is the new “I want more”.

Now I’m sitting here in the shine of the candle light. It is early morning of what we define as christmas eve over here on my end of the world. I’m still protected by the dark of the night. I’m a bit irritated, because I don’t understand how this thought could dawn me only now?

But hey, here we go again. There it is again: the limiting belief system. A healthy thought should be: “Thank you for the insight, universe (or who ever feels responsible)”.

This is another example for: “Our thoughts become our reality”. If something is not happening yet, it is still about to grow.

Let’s keep watering the plants. We can only harvest the fruits of the seeds that we sow. Instead of being afraid of creation I turn my fear into creation.

Peace out and merry christmas to everyone!

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Accept The Journey

“Accept your journey.” My brain flung out this call in a moment of clarity the other day. The advice was actually addressed to a friend who is suffering from a broken heart. I wanted to encourage him to move forward despite his desperation. Quickly I realized the wisdom behind that simple phrase.

Accepting the journey means accepting the challenges and not questioning them. “Why me?” is always the wrong question. Why you? Because it is your journey. It’s your life. Everybody has their own battles to fight. Some of them might look more brutal, some more relentless than others. But everybody’s obstacles are custom-tailored to their individual power.

Way too often we are taking our own lives and our challenges way to serious. But they are actually a part of us, our life, our purpose. Challenges are not there to punish, but to instruct us.

Massive jolts are rattling my old believe patterns these days. It seems like finally I’m harvesting the fruits of my self-discovery trip. At the same time I’m paying the price with confusion and more questions than ever. What I miss is the fact, that this is my journey. This is what I chose. These are the consequences. This is my way.

Insecurity is what I bought with freedom, dependence on other people is what I ordered with being a nomad. Too many options lead to confusion. Aloneness is what I chose. And my destiny? Is already right here.

This is my path and my destiny. The challenges that I’m facing are the bumpy road conditions. If the road gets narrow it is time to slow down and not to speed up. There is no need to rush. Life happens at its own speed.

Instead of enjoying the journey way too often I’m rushing towards an unknown destination. I’m rushing and rumbling around – chasing what? In the meantime I see the so called “life” rolling by out of the corner of my eye. What if I miss important waypoints? It is time to slow down and take the time to actually look at the map, listen to the intuition (as long as it takes) and just enjoy the view for a moment.

In the meantime? I’m fulfilling my purpose. People expressing me their gratitude. My friends are showing me their trust. Strangers are opening up to me for no reason. I can SEE that I’m making a difference. I published 56 posts on this blog, but I’m still think “I’m not writing anything.”

The path of least resistance is a well-trodden one. Walking your own way demands dedication. I chose my own path and I gonna stick with it at all costs. Do I have a choice? I don’t think so.

“If life gives you a mountain, put on your boots and hike it.”

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Flesh And Bone

Did you find yourself now? Finally? After all? What else are you looking for? Why don’t you settle down?

I still don’t know how to answer these questions. But there is something I figured out over the years: There is no “me” to find. “Finding myself” is like finding happiness. The harder I try the less likely I will succeed. This is the paradox about the pursuit of happiness. Either it leads into the presence or it leads nowhere.

Through the years my quest of “finding myself” turned into the challenge of “accepting who I am.” Appreciating my own gifts is as hard as accepting my weaknesses as a part of me. As long as I disregard my nature every attempt to define myself (new) will fail.

The challenge is to bear the fact that I’m just flesh and bones. I’m a human being. I have to take care of my body (and reproduce eventually). I can make great decisions, but at the end they are determined by some higher force. Every action is determined by my nervous system and millions of chemical processes, which are taking place in my body every second. And these processes want to be maintained well.

My body is my physical home, the place where I’m supposed to feel most comfortable. If I won’t find stability inside of me there will be chaos radiating around me.

There is a lot of misinterpretation in the field of ‘personal-development’: There is the idea that there is something to ‘create’. The idea that we can transform ourselves into something better (some hyper human?). The idea that we are the creators of ourselves.

What we neglect is the fact that we are a part of nature. In reality everything is already here. We are already life, light, essence and energy – everything at the same time. We are already perfect. Our purpose is to grow and prosper – just like every other creature on the planet. Everything else doesn’t matter and is not in our power. What we really have to do is to reveal our true selves.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

The Fear of Creation

The fear of creation – this nagging anxiety is paralyzing my synapses.

Black doubt clouds overcasting the bright sky of ideas.

Is there value in my words or am I lost in self-centeredness?

Is this the desperate attempt to find purpose or am I truly questioning?

 
by Uli on Threesome, Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

3 Fertilizer for Personal Growth

Alright, this is real life stuff right here. The threesome goes into the next round without mercy. This is the essence of this whole personal development thing on the spot: The willingness to learn, to adapt and to be open for change. What helps us to not stop learning? What keeps us on track on our journey of personal growth?

1. Being Patient

“I can’t do this.” “I’m too stupid.” “This is not for me.” “I will never change.” How many times in my life had this negative believe system prevented me from reaching my personal goals? It took me a long time to really understand that learning is a long process. I don’t learn a language within a day and for sure I don’t change my believe system within a day.

It takes actually a lot of time and it always starts with the first step. A steep learning curve can be frightening, but by doing one step at a time we automatically learn. It’s like climbing a mountain. (Sometimes it’s the mountain without the peak.) We don’t fly to the top. Physical effort is needed and in the meantime the view is our reward.

Patience is crucial for this learning process. Don’t expect to be perfect at anything from the very beginning. Mistakes are not only okay, but necessary to improve and to internalize learnings. This is simply how our brain works. Perfectionism is preventing us from learning.

A couple of weeks ago I published “Fail Fast, Learn Quick” if you feel like diving deeper into this topic.

2. Talking To People

Nowadays every person is exposed to different cultural influences through the media, through work and social relationships. This makes everyone of us a very unique human being. The good thing about being highly individualized is that we can learn a lot from each other – from actual skills to habits through to different ways of interacting with each other.

Every person has a different worldview and every conversation is the opportunity to learn something new. Every encounter with another person can be valuable if we are open to listen closely and ask questions with real curiosity.

3. Embracing the Unknown

“If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you’ve always got.” – After all it is really important that we are opening up to the unknown. Facing new situations, new skills or experiences unbiased and with a positive attitude is the base for personal development.

Sometimes we might face a situation that we never thought we would master. If we maintain a positive mindset in these situations we are going to grow. Considering different perspectives as mentioned before helps us to gain understanding for foreign circumstances.

 

“You will learn in spite of yourself; that’s the rule.”

Carlos Castaneda from “The Teachings of Don Juan – A Yaqui Way of Knowledge”