I’m standing on Donnersbergerbrücke.

It’s the evening haze of a regular weekday in Munich and it dawns on me that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be.

I am not rushing to catch the bus I’m supposed to take.

The sun is painting its last colors on the sky.

I don’t remember the last time I was standing on this bridge.

But what I know is: It is not the same person standing here.

I have changed.
Something inside of me has changed fundamentally.

I felt strangely at home.

At this moment I realize that my shadow is comforting me.

It is my home.

“Just come as you are,” they say.

Okay, here I am.

All of a sudden it is there.
I under-stand.
I take pride in my path.
I own my story.

A rush of gratitude fills my eyes….

I grew from the inside and for the first time I really feel that.

I evolved – FROM the inside.

I have done the work. And now I am standing here.

“What’s next?,” my busy mind wants to ask.

Again, I gaze towards the setting sun….

“What if instead of moving forward, i’d move backwards?,” my busy mind itself countered with an open question.

I can’t sow endless seeds.

Now is the moment that I finally understand that rest is AS important as progress.

Digesting what is instead of preparing a new meal.
Clearing the debris instead of building anew.
Integrating what happened instead of initiating something else.

I can’t sow endless seeds, no, but I can praise the garden that is growing inside of me, in front of me, around me…

I don’t know how I could not get it earlier, but it does not matter.

On a random day, in stillness, I recovered the beauty of my life.

…

For too long I witnessed it within myself and in others…

We are pushing so hard to move forward. We are aiming for one dimensional progress. The thing is that progress is not one dimensional.

It’s expansive.
It’s round and whole.
It’s the yin and the yang. The animation and the integration are both equally important.

Growth is the integration of what is.
Growth is not only about harvesting the fruits, it’s about ploughing the land, fertilizing the dirt, and preparing for the upcoming season…

Personal growth is the care-taking of our internal motherland….

In some years maybe the harvest is not what we expected it to be. It is not as lush, as fruitful, or as delicious.

Some years we can only use it for compost. To fertilize the new ground in front of us.

Here we go 2023.

It’s the reversed resolutions…