Change Of Thinking

by Uli on Micro Habit Challenge, Transformation Inventory

My Inner Critic Lives in The Future

My inner critic lives in the future.

I can’t see him here.

Recently I’ve finished my inner critic micro habit challenge and I still owe you (and me) a conclusion.

How can I continue the conversation with my critic in a constructive way? This was kind of the question that arose towards the end of the challenge a week ago.

The short answer: There is no such thing like a ‘constructive conversation’ with my inner critic, because the critical voice is not productive by any means.

What has happened since then?

Honestly, this past week has been a crazy ride. Now that I’m typing I want to use the time to sum up what’s happening, because I witness that this week has been big for a lot of us.

To me it feels like a huge energy wave is rolling over us all – business closures, new beginnings, re-inventions, death and rebirth. This seems to be the pattern for a lot of us right now – if we are aware of it or not.

I’m sure, whoever is reading this, agrees: We live in wild times right now.

So, apparently I had started the inner critic challenge at a crucial point in my personal and professional development. I can witness a huge shift in consciousness within myself and others – and this seems to reflect in the material world.

More details about that will be revealed over time and most likely, in one way or another be shared on this blog.

All of a sudden – I’d say exhilarating – possibilities come floating (that’s the word that comes up – again) into my life.

Again, I’m learning that things do fall into place if I let them. I have worked freakin’ hard over these past couple of months – that’s partly what made me start the challenge, because I realized that my inner critic is not really, mmmh, let’s say… productive?!

And yes… Now I know: My inner critic is not here to be productive. He is here to warn me – and, to be honest, that’s an euphemism!

Actually I can’t really find any use of the inner critic apart from criticizing ‘unfoundedly’.

As I mentioned in my previous post: The critical voice doesn’t live in the present moment.

If I want to be the best version of myself, I better be present now. That’s where the magic happens.

So, what could be a takeaway from this challenge?

Raising awareness for the internal voices has helped me to see my own potential and my own value much clearer.

My critic doesn’t appear to me like someone to have constructive conversations with. It’s more like an invisible twin, a voice that immediately mutes as soon as I center myself.

Also: The critic does not really leave room for play. That’s something I identified as part of my mission on this earth. To play, spread lightness and eliminate pain.

So, all I can do is to cultivate more awareness and a nurturing environment for my ‘productive’ self, which is the spark of energy that lives in my physical body.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Perfect Imperfection

By nature, life is imperfect.

So, what makes us expect our lives to be perfect?

Why are we giving ourselves such a hard time “trying to be perfect”?

We try to find “the perfect solution” – for problems we don’t even fully understand.
We want the perfect body, the perfect mind, the perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect life…
We create perfect brands to attract “the right” audience.
We seek “the perfect client”.

We always (want to) have a perfect answer.

Can you see a pattern? What are we trying to manipulate?

Are we over-achieving life?

What if we responded to life instead of trying to control it?
What if we valued our unique abilities over perfection?
What if we served more than just ourselves?
What if we cooperated with (our own) nature instead of trying to dominate it?

And YES, I’m asking questions without having an answer.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

What if?

What if things go right?
What if everything does fall into place?
What if you do live up to your values?
What if you live happily ever after?
What if?
What if you discover joy and happiness within yourself?
What if there is a tomorrow that is slightly better than today?
What if you grow beyond what you thought is possible?
What if you free yourself from doubt?
What if?
What if you transform your fear into action?
What if nothing was lost anyways?
What if you liberate your decisions from the outcome?
What if you live your life to the fullest?

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds, Writing Experiment

Divine Intervention

There is something moving inward – and outwardly.

The divine intervention.

I’m the vessel, the means of transformation.

More than anything I’m here to respond.

I’m not in charge. I do not lead. I am the direction.

On the verge, I am that tool.

I am the armour. There is no need to arm myself.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

From The Streams of (Un)Consciousness

There is so much to say. My synapses are numbed.

Still, I feel the pressure to share.

I want to document, because I can’t know what I’m documenting right here.

I’m trying to hold on to it. Or is it holding on to me? I’m not sure.

What I know for sure is that life is ever changing. And more and more I come to witness my own change. And more and more I accept it. I accept myself in not-knowing and in ever-transforming.

Slowly I’m re-establishing a connection with myself and with the world – mainly by connecting with myself.

I’m coming to understand that I can’t know. Do I find pleasure in not knowing?

Surely not!

What I’ve been coming to terms with is the fact that my mind has a very limited capacity. It knows what it knows and it calls it experience.

But what is experience really?

It is diving into the new of every moment.

Accordingly to cambridge dictionary it’s the process of getting knowledge or skill from doing, seeing or feeling.

So how do we get life experience?

Yes, by doing, seeing and feeling life. Not by gathering information.

Unfortunately this is all that our mind does. It gathers information to a point that makes life unrecognizable.

Life becomes a stencil of what we “know”.

As long as our lives are dictated by mind, this is the only lens we ever see through.

The joke is that we can not know life! Life doesn’t know itself, because it’s a force! It is energy!

There is nothing to know about life, because life energy is ever changing.

And we are that change. We are that life.

Nothing in life is ever as it seems. Because everything in life is constantly moving. Think about it a little longer then 3 seconds! We created concepts and stories that we call culture nowadays.

We create value but our values are rocksolid!

We are stonewalling ourselves, because we are denying the constant flow. The constant uncertainty that is the current of our life.

People, it’s time to wake up!

Shake it loose. Forget what you have learnt. Drop your expectations and let life unfold.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Who Are You Without Your Mistakes?

Who are you without your mistakes? This is a question I kept pondering for a while now – probably for years.

Are you you? Without mistakes?

Are you fulfilling your “dharma” – without mistakes?

“In ‘doing’, there are always mistakes.”

This is what Swami Rakesh, my philosophy teacher at the 200 hours yoga teacher training I have just finished told me in a private consultation.

This implies: If we are not making any mistakes, are we doing?

I repeat, because it is so fundamental: Who are you without your mistakes?

You might walk, but do you walk in your own shoes?
You might do, but do you do you?

Or are you avoiding the thing you want to do, because you are avoiding mistakes?

Another perspective:

Do you learn without mistakes?

Of course not!

Perfection is not the path. It can’t be…. Why? Because we are here to learn.

The path is paved with mistakes. Detours. Ups and downs.

This is how we see.

This is how we dis-cover the things that are being hidden from us.

How will you be able to see the whole picture if you only look at what you want to see?

How do you feel fully if you avoid feeling the whole spectrum?

How do you find comfort in this life if you only walk on the bright side?

This is not it!

I know you know it!

Darkness is an aspect of the light. Without dark, there is no light.

This is more fundamental to understand than I could ever imagine… And yet, I’m scratching the surface…..

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Let it be Hard

“I want it to be easy!” – I’m punching my pillow.

“Let it be hard!” – An internal voice releases my vigor.

Recently I’ve made some tough decisions. And for a moment I fell for the panic, the doubt and the despair…

Until I remembered:

In order to live an exceptional life we get to make exceptional decisions. Decisions no one has ever made before, because no one has ever walked in our shoes…

Decisions that move our life path away from the “crowd”.

It is tough. It brings up fears of rejection, of loss or of poverty.

But you know what?

It’s part of the game!

This is what unleashes the wild self within!

This is what strengthens our resolve!

I want to encourage you:

DO the step you are so scared of but you kept pondering for years.

MOVE where destiny is calling you.

YOU know it. No one else.

No fortune teller can tell you what to do.

Only you are in charge.

And this is not a top-to-bottom advice of some sort.

I encourage myself too with a livin’ prayer. 😉

It’s easy to talk about it.

It is freakin’ hard to WALK it!!

The path no one has walked before.

Your path.

It’s easy to learn a lot of things but actually putting them into action: this is the hard part! Yes. It is hard and it is beautiful.

It’s, without a doubt, the most satisfying thing in the world.