Self Knowledge

by Uli on Micro Habit Challenge, Transformation Inventory

My Inner Critic Lives in The Future

My inner critic lives in the future.

I can’t see him here.

Recently I’ve finished my inner critic micro habit challenge and I still owe you (and me) a conclusion.

How can I continue the conversation with my critic in a constructive way? This was kind of the question that arose towards the end of the challenge a week ago.

The short answer: There is no such thing like a ‘constructive conversation’ with my inner critic, because the critical voice is not productive by any means.

What has happened since then?

Honestly, this past week has been a crazy ride. Now that I’m typing I want to use the time to sum up what’s happening, because I witness that this week has been big for a lot of us.

To me it feels like a huge energy wave is rolling over us all – business closures, new beginnings, re-inventions, death and rebirth. This seems to be the pattern for a lot of us right now – if we are aware of it or not.

I’m sure, whoever is reading this, agrees: We live in wild times right now.

So, apparently I had started the inner critic challenge at a crucial point in my personal and professional development. I can witness a huge shift in consciousness within myself and others – and this seems to reflect in the material world.

More details about that will be revealed over time and most likely, in one way or another be shared on this blog.

All of a sudden – I’d say exhilarating – possibilities come floating (that’s the word that comes up – again) into my life.

Again, I’m learning that things do fall into place if I let them. I have worked freakin’ hard over these past couple of months – that’s partly what made me start the challenge, because I realized that my inner critic is not really, mmmh, let’s say… productive?!

And yes… Now I know: My inner critic is not here to be productive. He is here to warn me – and, to be honest, that’s an euphemism!

Actually I can’t really find any use of the inner critic apart from criticizing ‘unfoundedly’.

As I mentioned in my previous post: The critical voice doesn’t live in the present moment.

If I want to be the best version of myself, I better be present now. That’s where the magic happens.

So, what could be a takeaway from this challenge?

Raising awareness for the internal voices has helped me to see my own potential and my own value much clearer.

My critic doesn’t appear to me like someone to have constructive conversations with. It’s more like an invisible twin, a voice that immediately mutes as soon as I center myself.

Also: The critic does not really leave room for play. That’s something I identified as part of my mission on this earth. To play, spread lightness and eliminate pain.

So, all I can do is to cultivate more awareness and a nurturing environment for my ‘productive’ self, which is the spark of energy that lives in my physical body.

 
by Uli on Micro Habit Challenge, Transformation Inventory

Can I Turn Towards my Inner Critic With Compassion?

Okay, the first 10 days of the challenge are already over and I have to say: again this investigation exceeded my expectations. And, again, it led to profound insights into my mind. 

I could reveal some fundamental misconceptions that consume my energy to an unhealthy extent! Indeed, my inner critic plays a crucial role in my productivity, but not the role I assigned to him.

What I got wrong all this time was my assumption that my inner critic is working in my favor. The idea that he (in my perception it’s a male voice, ha! another hint) has my highest interests in mind. 

I obviously fell for another productivity trap. There is definitely a lot to debunk here… So, what are my major insights for now?

  1. The critic is only in my head. 
  2. The critic does want something, but not necessarily what I want.
  3. My inner critic refrains from constructive collaboration. 


Let’s dive a little deeper on these points. The first thing that I revealed is that the critic is solely a construct of my mind. As soon as I move my attention into my physical body the critic is gone. I have tried to chase him down, but there was no trace in my limbs or my internal organs. This little shift in attention already disempowered the inner critic to an invaluable extent.

Secondly: The inner critic definitely does not have my highest interests in mind. That clarifies: my mind definitely does not work in my favor either, which is not necessarily news for me. I would go a step further: Initially I wanted to use this challenge to boost my productivity. Remember, I wanted to act! But what I found out was that I don’t have most of the desires my inner critic is assuming. A lot of times there is nothing to do – which gives me more time to relax. This, again, reinvigorates my nervous system and enables me to act more self-empowered.

Now to the third point: Generally I consider myself as someone who is able to take criticism. Yes, because I already criticize myself to a level that no one else can meet. t’s really difficult to find something I haven’t already told myself… But what the inner critic is holding me back from is having a constructive conversation with myself. 

So, my whole predicament became much clearer. The question now is not “Can I mute my inner critic?” but “Can I meet my inner critic with compassion?”. 

These ten days already gave me another level of self-awareness. New seeds of compassion have been planted. In a couple of days I will give another update – and maybe some sort of conclusion how to proceed with the conversation.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Nothing to Prove

You have absolutely nothing to prove, because you are the only one walking your path.

Whatever you do is highly individual; highly yours.

That’s all you need to know – about yoga and maybe about life?

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Thoughts on Resistance

The resistance that is coming up is your light.

Beneath all the anger there is the gift.

All of your unfulfillment is your gift in disguise.

Your body wants you to express this gift.

This is your purpose, wanting to come alive.

Your resistance is your body asking for devotion.

When your cells move in harmony you reach flow.

Your body can make the impossible possible.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

The Freedom of no Addiction

This is a thought experiment.

Imagine you are free of any addiction.

If there is no addiction there is total freedom.

If there is no addiction there is choice.

There is the choice to direct energy deliberately and not by force.
This is the liberation of life force. The original force that moves us through our lives.

I personally have been struggling with addiction all of my life. Mainly it was the addiction to distraction that led me into toxic behavioural patterns.

Today I stop this.
Today I choose ultimate liberation.
I vow to support my higher self:

I choose creativity over distraction.
I choose focus over diversion.
I choose wellbeing over intoxication.

Uuhh, that hurts. Yes, it hurts. Once and far all – and then there is the feeling of release.

If I am not jumping from one task to the other. Where am I going? I remain with myself. Centered within my own being.

If toxins don’t inhabit my body, where is the energy distributed? Yes, equally amongst my cells.

If I move my body, if I clear tension from my muscles all of a sudden there is lightness in my whole being.

Joy instead of repression becomes my driving force.

Life takes over and I roll with it.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

You Are That Love

If you truly love, who you love is yourself.

These words came crashing down on me like a tsunami wave.

If I truly love, who I love is myself?

Yeah right, who I love is myself.

This insight stems from my personal experience of love in my life.

I am the love I’m wishing for and I can solely direct that love towards myself.

Only from there (myself) I can love anything or anyone.

I can’t love someone without loving myself.

I can only love.

And if I love, I love everything and everyone – including myself.

I was craving love for as long as I can think of.

I never thought I would find it – no one thought I would.

Until I found it – within myself.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Perfect Imperfection

By nature, life is imperfect.

So, what makes us expect our lives to be perfect?

Why are we giving ourselves such a hard time “trying to be perfect”?

We try to find “the perfect solution” – for problems we don’t even fully understand.
We want the perfect body, the perfect mind, the perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect life…
We create perfect brands to attract “the right” audience.
We seek “the perfect client”.

We always (want to) have a perfect answer.

Can you see a pattern? What are we trying to manipulate?

Are we over-achieving life?

What if we responded to life instead of trying to control it?
What if we valued our unique abilities over perfection?
What if we served more than just ourselves?
What if we cooperated with (our own) nature instead of trying to dominate it?

And YES, I’m asking questions without having an answer.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Allow Abundance

Do you allow abundance or are you resisting the flow of life?

I’m sitting at a hotel close to Delhi Airport. A five months journey of full-on transformation is coming to an end. Mainly it was a journey to myself. As most of you know, I’m not travelling in order to explore places but to discover my inner landscapes.

On this trip, more than ever before, I was able to witness my own transformation.

India broke me open. It loosened the tight bits. It shook the rigids of my being.

Never have I felt so fluid. Never have I felt so full of excitement facing the challenges ahead.

Mainly because I understood that everything I’m ever experiencing is a creation of my own mind. So why would it be scary?

I am not in control. Clearly.

Life is in control and it is moving through me. This abundance of power can be unnerving at times, because it rattles the human condition.

Many people, including myself, talk about abundance. But honestly, I think there is a huge misconception taking place. One might think, once I am abundant, nothing can scare me anymore. Life will move smoothly.

And it does! Because life doesn’t care about you specifically. She just moves – smoothly in her own terms.

Life goes on with or without you.

Life is abundance and this is what she offers us too. The fun part is: This abundance is already right here.

BUT. And there is the big but: It’s not flowers and unicorns or an enormous amount of money in our bank accounts.

Abundance is change. Abundance is constant flow. We can not expect to experience abundance while fearing the consequences of change.

Change and transformation is inherently scary for the human mind – and so is abundance, if we really look at it with all honesty. This is what abundance is: It is change. And we do fear the change that abundance brings us…

What happens if the mind looses grip?
What happens if, suddenly, something else leads the way?

Call it heart. Call it heart-mind. Call it wisdom – the only truth there is.

Cause and effect. Constant movement. The abundance of life requires steady opening – constant destruction in one form or another…

It is the destruction of the old and an immediate creation of the new which leads to another destruction in every moment.

Abundance is powerful and it forcefully destructs the old – if you are ready or not.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Blank Slate

I’m diving deep and yet I’m scratching the surface.
I’m travelling far and yet I’m going nowhere at all.
I’m letting go and yet I’m receiving more than I can take in.
I’m here and yet I’m eternal.