Self Knowledge

by Uli on Micro Habit Challenge, Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Micro Habit Challenge 1.0

A few days ago I published this massive Not-To-Do List. I realized, that there are way too many things I want to change. Of course I can’t (not) do it all at once. So, I asked myself, what is my biggest issue at the moment?

Well, the answer is easy: I can’t focus. And why is it so hard for me to focus? Because I’m working on too many projects at the same time (two blogs, and the pre-production of a video project), plus I have two part-time jobs (in video production and as a barkeeper). “On the side” I’m trying to change my way of thinking – from negative to positive. And in the back of my mind I’m constantly thinking of my climbing shoes, which are catching dust.

Everyday I pressure myself  to reconcile everything, but at the end of the day I get nothing done and I’m super exhausted. Plus: I’m prone to procrastination and smartphone addiction, which doesn’t help. I realized:

Before I can master my life, I have to master my mind.

In order to change something it is important to comprehend, how habits work: Depending on the resource you want to believe it takes around 60 days to internalize a new habit. Around 60 times you have to force yourself to do something differently, to excercise, to eat healthy, to not smoke a cigarette and so on. 60 days sounds scary doesn’t it?

Luckily I stumbled upon an article, that introduced me to the micro-habit challenge (Thank you Amina Moreau). Let’s forget about the number, because everything starts with day one. Finally I find the motivation to approach my goals – in small steps:

Trying to make too many big changes at once is all too often destined for failure. It’s the small, incremental changes that end up sticking.

Now it’s time to put up or shut up. Today is my day one of a 14 days challenge.

The next 14 days I want to:

1. Meditate for 10 mintes a day

Since a few years I’m trying to learn meditation. I joined meditation classes, I tried to practice with youtube videos and by myself. A few months ago I decided to renounce meditation. “I’m just not the meditation person.” But, what I didn’t understand was, that my expectations were just way to high. You can’t learn meditation with a few sessions – It’s a process of learning step-by-step.

To make it easy I picked the easiest form of meditation for a start: breathing meditation.

2. Turn off my phone 30 minutes before I go to bed and turn it on after breakfast

Slowly, we find out, that smartphones are not only bad for our social interaction but poisonous for our brain. The brain of a smartphone addict reacts like the brain of a gambler – every ‘beep’ releases dopamin, which arouses a short rush of happiness and satisfaction in our head. And because we want it over and over again, we tab the screen around 150 times a day. That’s insane and because I see similarities with an addict in my own behaviour I want to make a change.

I’m hoping to really make a difference by splitting my personal goals into digestible bites. As a side-effect I’m hoping to build up more patience with myself. More and more I consider impatience as my biggest weakness. But I know I can work on it – step-by-step.

And now?

Well, day one is nearly over. This morning I meditated and turned off flight mode at the subway with a smile on my face, because my brain was already much clearer. And: I published this article – yaayy! 🙂 The next days I want to maintain a small diary, where I will capture my progress. I will publish it by the end of the week.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

My Personal Not-To-Do-List

Things I want to stop doing….

  1. Asking myself “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
  2. Being nice to everybody.
  3. Feeling responsible for everybody.
  4. Being unorganized and not sticking to my personal plans.
  5. Being online all the time.
  6. Being available for everybody.
  7. Eating half a jar of nutella or “rewe bio-nuss-nougat-creme” or any other chocolate spread. (Am I still a teenager?!)
  8. Feeling sorry for myself. (Bathing in self-pity, yay.)
  9. Apologizing for no reason.
  10. Trying to please everybody.
  11. Not listening to my intuition.
  12. Being fucking indecisive all the time.
  13. Doing too many things at the same time.
  14. Comparing myself with others on facebook or instagram.
  15. Comparing myself with others in real life.
  16. Forcing other people to listen to my “problems”.
  17. Giggling to cover my lack of self-confidence.
  18. Waiting for the man of my dreams.
  19. Hoping that the man of my dreams is waiting for me.
  20. Falling asleep drunk in the subway.
  21. Falling asleep sober in the subway.
  22. Using my smartphone in bed.
  23. Using the elevator.
  24. Let the smartphone lay under my pillow.
  25. Being caught in my own spiral of negative thoughts.
  26. Asking myself: “What’s happening next year?”
  27. Thinking to myself “I’m not good enough.”
  28. Considering myself as a victim of society, who can’t change anything.
  29. Getting drunk instead of climbing a mountain.
  30. Seeing obstacles instead of opportunities.
  31. Questioning my needs.
  32. Doubting my desires.
  33. Hesitating.

A list of things I want to do is coming up soon…

To be continued….

 
by Uli on Affirmations, Rough Diamonds

It’s Up To Me

It’s up to me if I drink tea or coffee.
It’s up to me if I use the elevator or if I walk the stairs.

It’s up to me if I get wasted or if I go to bed early, because I’m fucking tired anyways.
It’s up to me if I buy a new phone or if I keep using the old one.
It’s up to me if I book an all-inclusive holiday or if I invest in experiences.

It’s up to me if I smile or if I put on the grumpy face.
It’s up to me if I communicate or if I just don’t stop bullshitting.
It’s up to me if I speak or listen.

It’s up to me if I let society set my goals or if I’m finding out, what this world really has to offer.

It’s up to me if I’m working on my own deficiencies or if I keep bathing in self-pity.
It’s up to me if I’m waiting for this fucking prince on his fucking horse or if I take responsibility for my own life.
It’s up to me if I listen to my inner calling or just to the call of duty.

It’s up to me if I swim with the stream or if I find my own flow.
It’s up to me if I complain or if I take action.
It’s up to me if I “do what men have to do” or if I learn to think for myself.

It’s up to me if I dream my life or if I’m living the dream.

EVERYTHING is up to me.

 

 

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Uncategorized

Who is this Growthbuddy?

The other night I woke up from this weird dream. Actually I wasn’t even sure, if I should share it or not, because it sounds so bizarre. But I decided to let you take part in my inner journey entirely – everything else would be boring.

In my dream I was nine months pregnant – just about to give birth. Unknowingly I carried new life within me. When I woke up, first I felt relieved, that it was just a dream. Then it dawned me: “This must be a sign!” All of a sudden I was thrilled by one idea: Setting up this domain!

Growthbuddy.rocks was born

Since a very long time I thought about catalyzing my brain clutter somehow. From time to time my close friends, who read my blog uliquitous would pressure me: “You should write more about your thoughts.” Apparently my thoughts are different from their own thoughts…

Well, the time is now. I gave digital birth. And my growthbuddy is walking its first steps. This is the first chapter of a neverending story called “life”, “personal development”, “building character”?  I’m not sure how to name it, but I will keep writing and keep exploring.

“The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step”
Lao Tzu

Who or what is this Growthbuddy?

I discovered the word growth buddy in Susan Jeffers’ book „Feel the Fear and do it anyway – How to turn your fear and indecision into confidence and action“.

Either if it is creating a new career, exercising more, transforming your relationship into a healthy one or learning a new language. What mainly holds us back from changing anything in our lives is fear: Fear of losing something, fear of the unknown, fear of failure – the fear of change has many different names…

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”

Growth buddies are there to support each other in the process of change and overcoming fears. They encourage each other to find their own path in life. This blog is supposed to be my growth buddy. My catalyst for the discoveries I make.

I always wanted to introduce you to my brain clutter, but I didn’t find the right format for it. I will find out, if this is the right format.

Who am I to talk about personal growth?

I did not walk the Camino de Santiago (Update: I walked about 100ks of Camino Francés in 2018:), I didn’t raise a child, I’m not a guru. All I do is changing my life from time to time – apparently a couple of times more than other people do. I try new things, I choose detours and – most importantly – I walk my own pace.

And on the way, I acknowledge my inner process. A process, which I didn’t understand entirely yet. This is the reason why I started this blog.

Things I’m working on

  • listening to my intuition
  • learning to meditate
  • becoming a non-procrastinator (Tim Urban is helpinge me 😉 )
  • focus instead of doing one thousand things at a time
  • getting out of my swimming pool of self-pity (Susan Jeffers calls it the “chatterbox” – “The voice that drives you crazy” – direct quote of my chatterbox: “You suck, Uli”)
  • stop blaming myself for a lack of knowledge, discipline, inner strength and other self-defined shortcomings
  • living an authentic life