Stream of Consciousness

by Uli on Rough Diamonds, Writing Experiment

Lifting the Treasures

Yesterday morning I found out that the digging is over.
It’s time to lift the treasures.

Everything is right here. There is nothing to invent or prepare but only to retrieve. Probably it has been that way all along.

Lost or determined? With the bold answer to this short reflective question the year 2024 ended for me.

For the longest time I have labeled myself as lost – until I understood that my ‘getting lost’ is my determination to dig deeper.

It literally came tumbling down on me throughout this New Year’s transition: It is time to lift the treasures!

My own treasures were buried deep down inside beneath disbelief and discontent.

All of these past years I have been digging and digging and digging – until I have discovered light amidst the darkest of tunnels. I have recovered the hidden treasures of my underworld.

Am I lost or determined?

The answer, finally, became so clear to me – I would like to scream it out loud (it has been for a lot of people around me):

I am determined to explore truth!

To me this means to embody all of human nature, all my emotions, every bone, cell and fibre of being alive.

I’m determined to lift the treasures here and now.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Writing Experiment

Decoding Enlightenment

I don’t want to make it easier for you, actually I want to make it harder.

There is no easy path, no walk in the park that leads to enlightenment.

Yes, some of us are born enlightened. That’s a different story.

But, as you have found the way here, I assume you are none of the second group. You are a seeker. You are passionately, wildly, silently screaming for answers. Answers you can never find, because you don’t get the clues you are expecting to get.

I tell you why this is: You don’t see the wood for all the trees!

Literally, there is so much advice out there.

Abundance seems to be just around the corner. And that is the biggest lie of our times.

Abundance is nowhere outside of yourself and for sure it is not around any corner.

Abundance is within you.

It is right there beneath your self-doubt. The path is right there – the next step, beyond your self-sabotage. Beyond your striving, your ambition, there is an abundance of resources.

Trust me. Or should I say: Trust you?

Can you feel it? This tingling sensation in your chest. This subtle vibration that’s keeping you alive? This is your path to abundance and thus your path towards enlightenment – the liberation you are so desperately seeking is right there.

So, what am I aiming for with “Decoding Enlightenment”? What is this about?

I guess it’s kind of a reminder of what I am here for.

I consider myself as a bridge builder, a translator of wisdom. A spokesperson for the broadly misunderstood, the spiritual misfits. I am not sure if I deliver, but whole-heartedly, I can say: I am working tirelessly on getting it ‘right’.

I am developing an understanding for the all, because I believe firmly that this is the only way to spread all-embracing compassion – the type of compassion our world needs right now.

So, without comprehending the scope of this post (maybe it is marginal): This seems to be the mission I’m showing up for: I am decoding enlightenment with you.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

The Antidote

It’s the opening factor.
It’s the missing piece.
It’s the glue of all connection.

Love.

It’s astonishing how convinced I am that love is the only answer there is.

How can this be?

Because I can feel it. I can lean towards it and she always receives me well.

It’s a healing force that is bringing me into union – instantly.

Where there is resistance there is love too! It’s within the fraction! It’s within the contradiction!

Always – there is a way to love.
Always – there is love all the way.

That’s the antidote. That’s the healthy destruction of violence.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Blame or Claim

Do you blame or do you claim? Do you choose freedom or do you lose your power over indecision? Do you try to fit into the standards of your surrounding or do you choose your own liberation over the patterns of the past?

Do you choose the freedom of your senses? The power of your intuition? Your intuitive knowing that always finds the way…

I came to terms with the fact that I am the one in charge.

I can’t have it all. Everything in life has its price. It’s just a matter of what I’m willing to pay. Do I pay with my freedom or with my insanity? Do I earn my liberation by choosing my free will at all costs? 

No, neither do I select my thoughts nor do I choose my upbringing. But I am the one who responds. And this is how I change my life.

Yes, some things might not happen – and some things never will. Life is not what happens in my wildest dreams. Because life is not what happens in my dreams in the first place.

Life is what happens when I choose to be myself now and in every moment. Life happens when I allow myself to listen and when I forget, for a moment, where I’m coming from and what I have been told.

That’s when I invent myself anew: When I forget the story that has been told.

When I claim instead of blame…. This is when I open up to possibility. – And this is when no one else gets harmed.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Nothing to Prove

You have absolutely nothing to prove, because you are the only one walking your path.

Whatever you do is highly individual; highly yours.

That’s all you need to know – about yoga and maybe about life?

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

The Freedom of no Addiction

This is a thought experiment.

Imagine you are free of any addiction.

If there is no addiction there is total freedom.

If there is no addiction there is choice.

There is the choice to direct energy deliberately and not by force.
This is the liberation of life force. The original force that moves us through our lives.

I personally have been struggling with addiction all of my life. Mainly it was the addiction to distraction that led me into toxic behavioural patterns.

Today I stop this.
Today I choose ultimate liberation.
I vow to support my higher self:

I choose creativity over distraction.
I choose focus over diversion.
I choose wellbeing over intoxication.

Uuhh, that hurts. Yes, it hurts. Once and far all – and then there is the feeling of release.

If I am not jumping from one task to the other. Where am I going? I remain with myself. Centered within my own being.

If toxins don’t inhabit my body, where is the energy distributed? Yes, equally amongst my cells.

If I move my body, if I clear tension from my muscles all of a sudden there is lightness in my whole being.

Joy instead of repression becomes my driving force.

Life takes over and I roll with it.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Allow Abundance

Do you allow abundance or are you resisting the flow of life?

I’m sitting at a hotel close to Delhi Airport. A five months journey of full-on transformation is coming to an end. Mainly it was a journey to myself. As most of you know, I’m not travelling in order to explore places but to discover my inner landscapes.

On this trip, more than ever before, I was able to witness my own transformation.

India broke me open. It loosened the tight bits. It shook the rigids of my being.

Never have I felt so fluid. Never have I felt so full of excitement facing the challenges ahead.

Mainly because I understood that everything I’m ever experiencing is a creation of my own mind. So why would it be scary?

I am not in control. Clearly.

Life is in control and it is moving through me. This abundance of power can be unnerving at times, because it rattles the human condition.

Many people, including myself, talk about abundance. But honestly, I think there is a huge misconception taking place. One might think, once I am abundant, nothing can scare me anymore. Life will move smoothly.

And it does! Because life doesn’t care about you specifically. She just moves – smoothly in her own terms.

Life goes on with or without you.

Life is abundance and this is what she offers us too. The fun part is: This abundance is already right here.

BUT. And there is the big but: It’s not flowers and unicorns or an enormous amount of money in our bank accounts.

Abundance is change. Abundance is constant flow. We can not expect to experience abundance while fearing the consequences of change.

Change and transformation is inherently scary for the human mind – and so is abundance, if we really look at it with all honesty. This is what abundance is: It is change. And we do fear the change that abundance brings us…

What happens if the mind looses grip?
What happens if, suddenly, something else leads the way?

Call it heart. Call it heart-mind. Call it wisdom – the only truth there is.

Cause and effect. Constant movement. The abundance of life requires steady opening – constant destruction in one form or another…

It is the destruction of the old and an immediate creation of the new which leads to another destruction in every moment.

Abundance is powerful and it forcefully destructs the old – if you are ready or not.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Respond to Life

I just had an interesting revelation about now.

To respond to life means to respond to now. 

This is what it means to take responsibility for my own life. 

For some reason I always projected responsibility outwards to some point in the future.

This caused distress in my life, because it enforces constant worry about the future. 

How will I take responsibility for my life?

What does this question actually mean?!

There is no right answer.


The moment to respond to life is now.

What can I do now? 

Everything else is projection. 

And by projecting some potential outcome into the future I’m giving away control.

And this is what I suffer from every so often….

For the past couple of days I’ve been pondering the question: “How am I in control of my life?”
The answer is: By being present! That’s it.

It is so simple. And it is such a relief….

I realized it on my walk this morning. I have neglected these walks, but this morning I understood how much it helps me to arrive. 

If I don’t arrive I will never be able to take responsibility. The phrase “taking responsibility” is actually misleading, because I can’t take responsibility. 

I can only respond to life. Now.