Nothing to Prove

You have absolutely nothing to prove, because you are the only one walking your path.

Whatever you do is highly individual; highly yours.

That’s all you need to know – about yoga and maybe about life?

 

Thoughts on Resistance

The resistance that is coming up is your light.

Beneath all the anger there is the gift.

All of your unfulfillment is your gift in disguise.

Your body wants you to express this gift.

This is your purpose, wanting to come alive.

Your resistance is your body asking for devotion.

When your cells move in harmony you reach flow.

Your body can make the impossible possible.

 

Allow Abundance

Do you allow abundance or are you resisting the flow of life?

I’m sitting at a hotel close to Delhi Airport. A five months journey of full-on transformation is coming to an end. Mainly it was a journey to myself. As most of you know, I’m not travelling in order to explore places but to discover my inner landscapes.

On this trip, more than ever before, I was able to witness my own transformation.

India broke me open. It loosened the tight bits. It shook the rigids of my being.

Never have I felt so fluid. Never have I felt so full of excitement facing the challenges ahead.

Mainly because I understood that everything I’m ever experiencing is a creation of my own mind. So why would it be scary?

I am not in control. Clearly.

Life is in control and it is moving through me. This abundance of power can be unnerving at times, because it rattles the human condition.

Many people, including myself, talk about abundance. But honestly, I think there is a huge misconception taking place. One might think, once I am abundant, nothing can scare me anymore. Life will move smoothly.

And it does! Because life doesn’t care about you specifically. She just moves – smoothly in her own terms.

Life goes on with or without you.

Life is abundance and this is what she offers us too. The fun part is: This abundance is already right here.

BUT. And there is the big but: It’s not flowers and unicorns or an enormous amount of money in our bank accounts.

Abundance is change. Abundance is constant flow. We can not expect to experience abundance while fearing the consequences of change.

Change and transformation is inherently scary for the human mind – and so is abundance, if we really look at it with all honesty. This is what abundance is: It is change. And we do fear the change that abundance brings us…

What happens if the mind looses grip?
What happens if, suddenly, something else leads the way?

Call it heart. Call it heart-mind. Call it wisdom – the only truth there is.

Cause and effect. Constant movement. The abundance of life requires steady opening – constant destruction in one form or another…

It is the destruction of the old and an immediate creation of the new which leads to another destruction in every moment.

Abundance is powerful and it forcefully destructs the old – if you are ready or not.

 

Who Are You Without Your Mistakes?

Who are you without your mistakes? This is a question I kept pondering for a while now – probably for years.

Are you you? Without mistakes?

Are you fulfilling your “dharma” – without mistakes?

“In ‘doing’, there are always mistakes.”

This is what Swami Rakesh, my philosophy teacher at the 200 hours yoga teacher training I have just finished told me in a private consultation.

This implies: If we are not making any mistakes, are we doing?

I repeat, because it is so fundamental: Who are you without your mistakes?

You might walk, but do you walk in your own shoes?
You might do, but do you do you?

Or are you avoiding the thing you want to do, because you are avoiding mistakes?

Another perspective:

Do you learn without mistakes?

Of course not!

Perfection is not the path. It can’t be…. Why? Because we are here to learn.

The path is paved with mistakes. Detours. Ups and downs.

This is how we see.

This is how we dis-cover the things that are being hidden from us.

How will you be able to see the whole picture if you only look at what you want to see?

How do you feel fully if you avoid feeling the whole spectrum?

How do you find comfort in this life if you only walk on the bright side?

This is not it!

I know you know it!

Darkness is an aspect of the light. Without dark, there is no light.

This is more fundamental to understand than I could ever imagine… And yet, I’m scratching the surface…..

 

The Headless Buddha or “Meeting Myself With Compassion”

For about two weeks I’ve been trying to make sense of it: The Headless Buddha.

…It was one of those moments when I was caught up in a spiral of self-doubt and self-flaggelation, when I re-discovered my heart. 

In despair I was challenging the youtube-oracle. 

I discovered a talk on “The trance of unworthiness” by Tara Brach, a teacher I really value for her compassionate pursuit:

“We can only meet ourselves with compassion,” she concludes the human striving for liberation. 

Finally, I’m swallowing the medicine.

Suddenly I’m placing one hand on my heart and one on my belly.

I’m holding myself. 

This is when I understand: 

My mind deteriorates my self-esteem.

My mind strangles myself with reproaches.

Meeting myself with compassion – that’s the least I can do!

It is that simple.

And so I am lying there on the couch. One hand on my heart and one on my belly. My eyes filled with tears of relief.

I breathe and I cry.

That’s all it takes.

I remember the teachings of yoga I had received.

I let my body do the work. 

A couple of moments later: All anxiety vanished.

I find myself going for a short walk.

What happened next still blows my mind:

I’m walking slowly towards the nearby park, contemplating the Buddhist teachings of impermanence –  “anicca, anicca, anicca…,” echoing in my head…

When I gaze towards the bushes, suddenly, I see a headless Buddha standing there right at the framing of the sidewalk!

It is one of those decorative candle bearers a lot of people have standing in their bathroom or on the wardrobe.

Its head is accurately positioned where the candle is supposed to shine. 

Immediately the omnipresent quote: “If you meet the Buddha, kill him!,” comes to my mind.

What does this quote, apparently firstly stated by Linji Yixuan, signifies?

Back home I immediately start researching:

“Killing the buddha” asserts ‘to quiet all concepts’ – about Buddhism, spirituality and ‘the path’ in general.

It’s about finding the teacher within.

It implies the actualization of emptiness by self-observation and unbiased contemplation. 

The next thing I read is the word Kenshō, which is widely translated as “seeing one’s true nature”. Accordingly to Wikipedia it is often used interchangeably with the word satori, which signifies ‘comprehension’ or ‘understanding’.

It is often being mistaken for ‘enlightenment’, but this is not what it is. It is one step on the path, one realization of the non-personal nature of our lives….

I remember the moment on the couch earlier. The moment of surrender that lifted a weight off my shoulder and my chest. 

It was the moment when I finally understood that this body is solely a vessel. It’s a precious vessel, because it maneuvers me through my physical experience here on earth.

My mind keeps me in chains, while my body sets me free.

There is so much more to say about that! There are so many terminologies and symbolism to study, but for now that’s all I’m able to share here – my personal encounter with the headless Buddha.

 

The Flame

I can see it now clearly unfolding.

My life’s story.
My trajectory.

The old voices have faded.

This morning I rediscovered the flame that is burning inside of me.

Calm and beautifully, undisturbed.

It burnt all the way through.

The soft power of the flame is relentless.

I knew it deep down inside.

There is something “more”…

There is a force beyond my perception.

As the conditions get worse, severe weather is impeding the sight, evil forces are dragging my will….

A fundamental strength establishes and executes.

Sudden revelations are the result.

A physical destruction of patterns and control.

This morning it was there: The flame.

Burning and nurturing my wild self.